Circle
by Lomihahamech
Summary: Skywise returns to the holt after many, many years in the Palace.. what has become of the Tribe? Of his Tam..?


The stars.  
  
Beautiful cub eyes, gazing down at him. Precious jewels calling to be plucked from their velvet-blue world.  
  
Skywise smiled and blinked tears from his eyes. No matter how many times he'd laid here, no matter how many times he'd looked at them, they never failed to bring tears to his eyes.  
  
Lately though, he'd cried alone. A long time ago, he used to do this with Cutter. He'd leave the tree so silently, he was sure his soulbrother was still asleep, but then, just as he laid out onto his back, Cutter would surprise him, and lay across the stargazer's chest long into the night. Once he and Timmain had become lovemates, she had laid with him. He would lead her from the Palace's arms, taking her small, pearl hand in his, and they would sit against each other's backs, memorizing them. When he had left his tribemates to rule the Palace, young Suntop would lay at his side. Now, he was alone.  
  
He slowly rolled to his stomach in the rough, spring-time grass. He chuckled lightly as the vibrant stalks tickled his bare chest. They were so soft and bouncy. He reached out a hand and pressed one down, and watched as it bounced back upright.  
  
The Palace shimmered below him. The stars sparkled at it's corners, nearly blinding the elf as he stared. The Palace. It was all he had ever dreamed about.. all he had ever wanted. He'd traveled in it for years, but it was empty.. something was missing. Something he hadn't had since he'd left the tribe.  
  
It had been so many years, so many, many years.. was.. Cutter..  
  
He shook his head, and rested his forehead on his arms, letting his nose brush the grass below him. He wouldn't dare let himself think those thoughts. Cutter was strong..  
  
~** Starling? Starling what are you doing? **~ The light locksend was so whisper soft, Skywise sighed a small moan.  
  
~** Thinking, Timmain, thinking. **~ The High-One, donned in her ebony flowing gown, sat gracefully next to Skywise. She rested a porcelin hand on his back. His head was still buried in the grass.  
  
The silences between the two of them were always awkward for Skywise. Even after all their years together, even with the knowledge that they'd joined together, willingly, he was still awed by her very presence. He felt like he should say something, but he didn't know what, and her looming silence intimidated him. It was as if she were challenging him, challenging him to say something.  
  
~** What troubles you, Starling? **~ Skywise sat, and looked at her with starry eyes. It was as if she could read his very thoughts. She always knew when something was troubling him. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, it seemed like she knew everything about him, and he had no more secrets. ~** Come my Starling, tell me? **~ She gently pulled him to rest his head in her lap, and ran her fingers into his silver kissed hair.  
  
~** Oh Timmain, this pain.. I.. I can't take it. I..... Being this close to him.. I.. I.. I want to go to him, to never... But, it's been so long... oh, so long.. Timmain, what.. what if he... he.. **~ He looked up at her, just barely able to see her kind eyes through his tears. She smiled at him, and brushed a tear from his face with her soft fingers.  
  
~** Oh, my little Starling. **~ More silence, this time, Skywise found himself lost in the pools of beauty that were her eyes. ~** Such devotion, my star love. **~  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyoooooooaaaaaaaahhhh!" A mournful how pierced the canopy of trees, and swirled temptingly around Skywise's head.  
  
'Damn memories..' He thought as he broke from Timmain's gaze.  
  
~** A memory, young Starling, is what is left when something happens, that never truly unhappens. **~ Again, even as Timmain's words opened new feelings for Skywise, he felt like she could dive into his very mind.  
  
"On the stars.." Skywise gasped as he met her eyes again. He had long since stopped saying 'By the High-Ones,' it sounded meaningless when spoken around Timmain.  
  
~** Oh, my Starling.. my Fahr. **~ Recognition with a High One. It had happened two days ago, and yet Skywise always found excuses to not join. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was just that he couldn't bring himself to do it. He remained speechless as Timmain gently rested his head on the grass, and moved to straddle him in her delicately feminine way.  
  
~** Fahr. **~  
  
~** Aer. **~ Skywise locksent softly, completing the circle. He closed his eyes as Timmain's dreamberry sweet lips explored the exposed flesh of his chest. He gasped in a breath as her hands slowly flitted under his belt. Oh, for two days all he had wanted was this. He and Timmain, joining, fulfilling their needs.  
  
Creating a cub.  
  
~** Fahr. **~  
  
~** Aer. **~ Again, their souls touched. His soulname had only been spoken in such a star sweet voice it sent shivers through him. Spoken by,  
  
Cutter.  
  
~** Timmain... p-please.. **~ He could barely hold back. The urge to join pulsed through his veins, controlling his every thought. Her star- white form was so beautiful.. she.. so beautiful...  
  
"Stop.."  
  
"Starling?" Her voice was filled with worry, with guilt. She moved from over him, crouching on her knees as she looked at him with sad, deeply concerned eyes. What was bothering her Starling so much, he feared the consequences of fulfilling Recognition?  
  
"I.. I.. c-can't.." He sat slowly. "Not now anyway, lovemate."  
  
"Oh, my sweet Starling." She knew, she knew what he craved. She knew now, the one thing, the only thing that could bring her lover peace. She rose, and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. Turning into the dark jungles behind them, opposite the Palace, she sent to him softly.  
  
~** When two Recognize, a piece of one's soul passes to the other. Sometimes, a bond is so strong, they can only survive together,  
  
Combined, as destiny would have them.  
  
The weakness in most humans, my Starling, is their hesitancy to tell others they love them,  
  
While they are still alive. **~ Her sends slowly broke off as Skywise shuddered.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" The howl stirred feelings in the former wolfrider that he never thought he would ever feel again. He needed to howl... he needed to run with the pack, to hunt.. to ride..  
  
And he needed his soulbrother.  
  
Skywise leapt to his feet, and nearly stumbled down the hill. He gathered up his courage, his strength, and balanced himself out as he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. How he longed for Starjumper, his first wolf-friend to carry him on his broad back.  
  
"Hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrroooooooooooo!" Skywise tripped, and fell to his rump as he heard another howl. He turned his head away from the Palace as it flashed it's inviting white lights at him. Calling him to come back. There, in the deepest shadows of the valley, stood the snow white wolf. His lovemate. Timmain.  
  
She slowly started forward, and nudged his shoulder.  
  
~** My Fahr... **~  
  
~** Oh, thank you Aer.. thank you. **~ Skywise whisper-sent as he climbed onto her back. She tore into the underbrush. Skywise felt his heart longing for those days past as he felt each of her delicate paws strike the ground, and push off. Propelling them forward.  
  
A few feet from the Palace, Timmain stopped, and turned her ears towards Skywise. This was as far as she could take him. He understood, and slowly slipped from her back. He looked at her, her soulfilled wolf eyes, and brought her forward in a tight embrace.  
  
She licked the inside of his ear, and he shuddered. He understood the love she had for him. She had the power to keep him tied, to use her mind to make him forget everything, but joining. He knew she too felt the pain, the urge, and because she knew what he felt, she was putting herself up to that pain, that urge to let him do what he had to do.  
  
She turned slowly, and left him in the dense foliage.  
  
'Cutter, go to Cutter.' His soul screamed.  
  
He pushed his way into the lush green, and paused briefly. In all his years away, he had forgotten where the holt lie. He wished now, in the urgent yearnings of his soul, more then ever, that he still held his wolf blood.  
  
The leaves rustled to his far left.  
  
"Kalev! Kalev come back!" An oddly familiar voice called from further behind the leaves.  
  
As he started forward, a young cub ran from a dreamberry bush, and wrapped his arms around Skywise's legs. Holding his tiny body to Skywise as if he were a friend he'd known his whole young life. Skywise looked down slowly.  
  
The cub had the air of a Go-Back about him and the sun kissed skin of a Sun Villager. His hair was a sweet-fire red, but his eyes as he looked up at Skywise,  
  
those deep-water blue eyes,  
  
Cutter's eyes.  
  
"Kalev!" That voice, he hadn't heard it in years. It's owner slowly stumbled into the clearing through the same bush the cub had. "Ka- Oh! By the High Ones... Sky.. Skywise?" Her voice was desperate, yet it still held it's old authority. "Oh Skywise! Thank Timmain you made it!" The elf threw herself into Skywise's arms. Her fiery hair tickled his chin as she gave into her sobs. Skywise looked down at her lovely locks,  
  
Her Chieftess lock.  
  
"Oh, Ember! It's been so long! It's been too long!" He held her out so he could get a better look at her. He had last left her with her tribe, and the elf Teir, and the healer Mender.  
  
And her tribe.  
  
Slowly, the realization crept in.  
  
"Ember, Ember why are you here? Why aren't you with your tribe?" She bit her bottom lip, and fell into his chest again as his arms weakened in her silence. She felt his pain as she listened to his heart, and her young cub, Kalev, whimpered as he sat by her feet. He felt the sorrow as well, the undeniable pain.  
  
"Oh Skywise!" She had foreseen that question, slowly pouring from her once advisor, once lovemate's lips, but never, never in her darkest nightmares did she think she would be burdened with giving him the answer his very soul dreaded.  
  
"Its.. its Cutter, Skywise.. he... he hasn't been.. been doing well." She looked up at him, daring to meet his eyes. "Mother sent for me two days ago." The hint of the dew sparkle that were tears began to fill his eyes. The pain that rested in them as his gaze darted about, not resting on anything in his attempt to take it in, caused Ember to subdue a sob.  
  
"No.. no!" Ember cried out in her own pain as Skywise's heartfelt cries of denial ambushed her ears. The attempt to block out the pain...  
  
"Skywise.."  
  
"No! Cutter!" Skywise turned from her, and ran deeper into the forest. The space, the void, that threatened to fade into an empty nothingness, gnawed at his heart, at his soul.  
  
~** Tam! Tam! **~ He ran on, not knowing, not caring where he was going. He knew that Cutter was close, so close.. yet.. so far.  
  
'An answer, please any answer my soulbrother!' His soul cried out desperately as he tripped and fell face-first into the cool ground.  
  
"Skywise!" Ember panted as she caught up with him, clutching the pup who was resting on her back. "They won't let you anywhere near him like this.. Follow me." She reached out her free hand. He looked up at her with an expression so lost, so torn, so pained and utterly helplessly incomplete, she nearly dropped her cub to join him in his sobs.  
  
He took her hand gently, and stood at her side. They looked at each other, and soon wrapped their arms over each other in tight embraces.  
  
~** Oh Skywise.. it has been too long. **~  
  
~** I know Ember.. I know. **~  
  
"This way.." He followed behind Ember, too pained and preoccupied to notice the youthful leaves mocking him as they passed.  
  
He refused to think the worst or hope for the best. He knew that both would only work to tear him away faster. The worst because the reality of it's complete possibility, and the best because he knew, without a doubt, it was not true.  
  
'Timmain!' His soul suddenly screamed the name.  
  
'No! Cutter! Cutter comes first!'  
  
~** Tam! **~  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyoooooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" As Skywise and Ember neared the clearing that cradled the holt, a strange howl floated up. It was odd, sounding as if the howler had not the slightest idea what they were doing.  
  
Leetah! It had to be!  
  
"Skywise! Skywise wait!" Ember cried as he pushed passed her and into the clearing.  
  
The tribe turned slowly, creating a semi-circle with Leetah and Suntop's backs to Skywise.  
  
"Skywise?"  
  
** Skywise! **  
  
~** Skywise! **~  
  
"Look! It's Skywise!"  
  
"He's not aged a bit!"  
  
"Look at him!"  
  
"Mother.. let him through!" Suntop, whom Skywise had not seen in years, stood now a tall, well toned man. He looked at Skywise with pleading eyes as the stargazer passed through the clearing crowd. As their eyes slowly drifted to and from him, he began to feel like a human; odd, clumsy, different,  
  
Unwanted.  
  
He stumbled forward into the kind, and open arms of Leetah.  
  
~** Oh Skywise! I knew you would come.. I knew you would make it.. **~ She pushed him back slightly. She didn't want to delay the inevitable any longer. She gave him an encouraging smile even as her eyes misted over with tears.  
  
She slowly stepped aside.  
  
"No..." Skywise stared ahead in utter horror.  
  
His Cutter, his Tam, weak, thin...  
  
Old. Oh, so old!  
  
"Oh Cutter!" Skywise fell to his knees beside his sleeping soulbrother, and cradled his head.  
  
'Timmain!' His ever persistent soulcry.  
  
'No! No, Cutter first, Cutter is always first!'  
  
~** Tam.. my Tam.. please answer me... **~ It hurt to say his soulbrother's soulname, and not have his own returned. He felt so incomplete. The circle was broken, it wasn't flowing, it.. ended.. it.. stopped.  
  
~** F... Fahr? **~  
  
The send was weak, but it was Cutter. Oh it was Cutter!  
  
"Oh!" Skywise looked down at his soulbrother and was met with those blue eyes he had longed for for years.  
  
"Skywise...." But something was missing. "Soulbrother." Their shine, their lust, their spirit, was..  
  
gone.  
  
"Cutter!" Skywise held him close, and slowly felt tired arms hold him tighter.  
  
~** I.. I hoped you'd make it in time.. my sweet Fahr. **~ Skywise shook his head against Cutter's now-white hair.  
  
~** No.. no my Tam, do not talk like that! I'm here now, you're fine.. you're.. you're going to be fine. **~  
  
'Timmain!'  
  
'No! No! Not now, not when he needs me, not when he's like this!' The stargazer pleaded silently.  
  
** Leetah, what's wrong with him? Why can't you heal him? ** Skywise's send was open to all but Cutter, who cried into Skywise's vest.  
  
** Oh Skywise! ** Leetah's voice was filled with guilt. ** I have tried, Skywise! I have tried day and night! But it's not something I.. I can heal Skywise.. Not something I can heal.. ** She continued softly, years of sorrow and guilt in her eyes.  
  
~** Oh my Tam, you cannot leave me, not now... we still have so many years! **~ She locksent to her lifemate gently.  
  
** You, are what is wrong with him, stargazer. **  
  
** What? ** Skywise shifted his gaze as Moonshade peered out of the crowd at him.  
  
** Skywise, do you know what Recognition is? ** The gentle send of Leetah was still sorrowful, but something else slept in her send..  
  
hate.  
  
** When two souls are so right for each other, when only together are they complete, Recognition occurs. **  
  
** Do you know, ** Treestump's send was emotionless. ** what the strongest Recognition is? ** Skywise felt his heart stop.  
  
"Soulbrothers."  
  
** Soulbrothers. **  
  
~** Soulbrothers. **~  
  
"Soulbrothers."  
  
"Soulbrothers, pup." It seemed the whole tribe knew what Skywise had only guessed at, and it made him feel younger than the cub Kalev at Ember's side.  
  
'Timmain!'  
  
'Shut up!' Skywise turned his head quickly as the one name echoed in his mind.  
  
"You will look at me when I address you, pup!" He turned his head quickly to the angry Moonshade. "You are his problem, pup. You who left him, after all his years of yearning! All his years of pain! Wasted on the dream, the hope that you'd come back and love him like you once did!" Skywise shook his head as her words rang true. "You, who killed his soul, his spirit, the very moment you stepped into the Palace with that damned shape-changer!"  
  
'Timmain!' Skywise cried out softly as his soul screamed at him again, and Moonshade's words reverberated in his head. He broke into a cold sweat.  
  
"Moonshade, stop it!" The moon kissed voice of Strongbow silenced the crowd as the archer stepped forward. Skywise looked at him. He looked almost exactly the same as he had when Skywise had last seen him! And Treestump, he too looked the same! Why, why had his Cutter aged? Because of him! It was his fault!  
  
"No! He needs to know! He needs to know that he's to blame! If he would have stayed, this never would have happened! But he was too greedy! He thought only of himself!"  
  
"Moonshade!"  
  
"Because of him Cutter will die long before his time! Because of him Cutter has lost so many years to pain! To sickness! And he'll continue to wither away! Just shrink and shrivel!" Skywise felt Cutter shake in his arms.  
  
"Stop it Moonshade!" He yelled as his voice cracked in emotion. He felt Cutter's hot tears on his chest.  
  
~** Skywise.. I'm scared.. **~ He locksent. Skywise cried out and buried his face in Cutter's hair.  
  
'Timmain!'  
  
"Cutter will DIE!"  
  
~** When two Recognize, **~  
  
"Moonshade!"  
  
~** A piece of one's soul passes to the other, **~  
  
~** Tam.. **~  
  
~** Sometimes a bond is so strong, **~  
  
"Dead, Skywise! Dead!"  
  
~** They can only survive, **~  
  
~** Fahr.. **~  
  
~** Together. **~  
  
"It's true!" Skywise screamed.  
  
~** Combined **~  
  
"It's my fault!"  
  
~** The way destiny would have them. **~  
  
The woods grew quiet. Even Moonshade, struggling against Strongbow's tight grasp, was silenced.  
  
~** Oh my Tam! My beautiful Tam! Can you ever forgive me! **~  
  
'Timmain!'  
  
"Go.."  
  
"What?"  
  
~** My Fahr, go. You cannot fight what you are fighting. **~  
  
~** Tam, I.. **~  
  
~** I can feel it, Fahr. I can feel you fighting it and it hurts me more than you can know. I've clung to life for so many turns, Skywise, I can hold on for another hour while you free yourself.. **~ Skywise looked down at Cutter, and was met with the gaze he so longed for, but now feared.  
  
~** Tam.. **~  
  
~** Go Fahr! GO! **~ Skywise stumbled backwards at the harshness, and raced away.  
  
'He can't see this... he can't watch..' Cutter thought as tears welled in his eyes, and his soulbrother vanished into the green.  
  
"Timmain! Timmain!"  
  
"Starling?" The beautiful first comer turned to the panting elf in the doorway.  
  
"Timmain! Oh.. I.. I don't.... don't k..know where t-to-"  
  
~** Hush now, Starling.. **~ She slowly crouched before him, and gently touched her forehead to his. Seeking the answers that he could not give her.  
  
'Touch!' Skywise felt the urge to join as it was triggered in his mind, and traveled the length of his body.. 'No! No! Not now.. how could you even consider... with Cutter.. like...'  
  
Timmain's face scrunched up in pain. Her mouth fell open in a silent scream of agony, and she fell to her back.  
  
~** Aer! **~  
  
~** Oh Fahr... never, never have I.. I known such.. p-pain.. **~ Skywise fell to her side, his body aching... itching to reach out..  
  
~** My Fahr... h-how? **~  
  
"Aer.." He whispered and bit his bottom lip. Oh, it would be so simple, she was so.. so.. inviting.. on her back next to him. All he needed to do was.. was...  
  
"Oh Fahr.. I understand your pain, my Starling...." She slowly brought her hand up to cup his face, and he gasped as he shivered. "But there is only one way to fight Recognition.." He kissed her smooth palm.  
  
~** Quickly, my Fahr.. I'm so sorry.. **~  
  
Their clothes slipped off easily, and Timmain was much warmer than her Starling lover.  
  
The joining, though quick and serving only to free them both from the ravenous hunger that was Recognition was filled with such pain, such passion, it could never be compared.  
  
~** Go quickly, my Starling, and do not look back.. **~ Timmain's sweet-whisper send filled Skywise with sorrow. A cub, he and Timmain would have a cub, and yet... he was running. Leaving her to care for it, leaving her forever.  
  
And she knew.  
  
And she understood.  
  
~** Aer.. **~  
  
~** Go, Fa- **~ She was out of sending range as he pummeled into the forest. He stopped, and looked back over his shoulder. Did she hurt? He hadn't told her, but she knew, did it hurt her? Had he hurt her?  
  
'Oh Timmain! Oh my lovely Timmain! Thank you, Timmain.. thank you..' He continued his panic-stricken run, and made it to the holt in seconds.  
  
"Cutter! Cuu-" Skywise met the solid, angry fist of Moonshade as he entered the clearing, and felt the pound of bone on bone just as he felt the moon shine spill onto his still damp skin and tearing eyes. He stepped back and rubbed his jaw.  
  
"You cowardly human-lover!"  
  
Human lover! Skywise's blood began to boil.  
  
~** F.. Fahr? **~  
  
"Cutter!" Skywise rushed past Moonshade, ignoring the throbbing, tingling pain in his skin. He ran over to his soulbrother, Leetah, Ember and Suntop, and fell to his right. Leetah was holding his left hand, and Suntop and Ember were leaning together, touching foreheads. All with free- flowing tears, as if awaiting the inevitable.  
  
"Oh, Skywise..." Leetah moaned.  
  
~** Tam... Tam! **~  
  
~** Fahr what are you doing here? **~  
  
~** Tam, I'm here for you.. **~  
  
~** No Stargazer, you.. you can't.. s... Go back to your stars, Fahr.. I.. **~  
  
~** No, Tam! I gave them up! I gave them up to be with you! The Palace, Timmain, oh Cutter! You're all I've ever wanted! **~  
  
~** My pup.. I...**~ Skywise fell onto Cutter's chest.  
  
He was loosing his Cutter! His Tam! He could feel the horrid weakness in his sends... the horrid, wretched weakness that was brought on by his very absence.  
  
~** The weakness in most humans is there hesitancy to tell others they love them, while they are still alive.. **~  
  
~** Tam.. Tam I love you.. **~ Skywise caught his breath, and felt cold, very cold. He tightened his fingers into a fist against Cutter's still chest. ~** Tam.. **~ He sat up slowly as Leetah fell into a pile with her twins in open sobs. The whole pack fell silent. Skywise shook his head. ~** No... oh no.. Tam! **~  
  
"Cutter.. Cutter! CUTTER!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Skywise shot up with a gasp.  
  
Giggles and laughter invaded his ears as his vision cleared.  
  
A nicely furnished living room. Dewshine's living room.  
  
The curly, short blonde hair of the aforementioned elf bounced as she laughed. She was sitting sideways on the carpet, laughing wildly at Pike. The TV played tricks with the lines on her face as a cartoon of some sort blared.  
  
Pike! His red hair poked up from behind his wolf-friend. He was seated across the room from Dewshine, and his arms were wrapped tightly about the neck of his barking wolf as he chuckled merrily.  
  
Tyleet! The kind hearted elf maiden sat next to the TV. Leaning against the wall in her giggles, her pine branch hair folded over her delicate neck. Red as dreamberries.  
  
Krim! The lovely blonde-haired Go-Back lay on her stomach between Tyleet and Dewshine. Her head was buried in her arms, and her whole body shook with laughter. Her hair bouncing madly.  
  
Cutter! Oh, Cutter!  
  
He sat across from Skywise on the couch, just to the left of the stargazer. Cutter! Young, healthy, laughing. Her turned to look at Skywise with eyes full of life, full of love.  
  
"How are those fics coming along, Soulbrother?" He gasped, which only sent the group into more peels of laughter.  
  
Skywise, apparently the butt of the joke, could only smile as the shock of his dreams wore off.  
  
~** Tam? **~  
  
~** Yes, Fahr? **~ Cutter locksent happily, still laughing.  
  
~** I.. I love you, Tam. **~ Cutter turned to look at Skywise slowly, a little surprised.  
  
~** Oh... I, I love you too Fahr. **~  
  
~** When two Recognize a piece of one's soul passes from one to the other. Sometimes a bond is so strong they can only survive together.  
  
Combined as destiny would have them.  
  
The weakness in most humans, is their hesitancy to tell others they love them,  
  
While they're still alive.  
  
You are dying.  
  
You have only time to make one phone call.  
  
Who do you call?  
  
What do you say?  
  
And,  
  
Why are you waiting? **~ 


End file.
